Healthy relationships involve shared power. In a functional relationship, there is closeness and intimacy, (in-to-me-see).

Stress can be measured.  If you have answered yes to one or more questions please phone my office to receive the answers.

The following questions help to assess whether or not you are in a balanced power relationship.

1. Do either of you tell the other how to walk or talk, what to wear, or how to act?  Do you correct one another's' grammar, manners, etc.?
2. Do you have a knot in your stomach when your around your partner?
3. Are your needs and wishes a threat to your partner? Do you hesitate to express them because you're afraid of how s/he will react?
4. Does your partner bombard you with arguments when you set a boundary or express a preference? Does s/he badger you to get you to compromise your boundaries?
5. How often do you compromise your boundaries?
6. When you tell your preferences, does s/he say that you're being childish?
7. Does s/he get crazy, shame you, cry hysterically, act charming, rage, or become verbally or hysterically violent to get his or her way?
8. When you tell your partner how you would like to be treated, does s/he resist or respond by telling you that you are stupid, too sensitive or selfish?
9. Do you feel diminished, (like a little kid), dis-empowered ( like you have no rights),  or disenfranchised )like your vote doesn't count), when you try to make mutual decisions with your partner?
10. Does your partner assume veto power most of the time when there is an impasse?
11. Does your partner have an inordinate need to be in control?  Does s/he manifest this need in other relationships ( in workplace, on committees, at church, etc.?
12. When you are negotiating boundaries, is there an equal amount of give and take on the part of each of you ; do you comprise more or less often than your partner does?